I don't like change. Actually, I am on the fence with change. Change can be wonderful, but I am feeling the effects of change today that kind of hurt. I am feeling the long term effects of divorce. Lost love. Lost dreams. Lost years. It is the little things you don't think about. Someone there to celebrate with or cry with. Someone to parent with and help get the kids ready. Or read them books at night. Or pray with them at the dinner table. Someone to talk to at night before you sleep. Holding hands when you walk.

Or something as simple as what I have to do now. My blog address is tamiandthomas.blogspot.com. I can no longer have that blog address. When I created this blog, Thomas and I were having issues, but I never imagined we would be here today. People who look in from the outside don't often realize that the little things are sometimes the things that hurt the most. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but when you change the blog addresses, the drivers license, the account names, etc., it becomes final. Things become real. When you don't want things to become real, it is like your lungs have a slow leak. You can still breathe, but there is a slow deflation and you just wait...wait for the moment when you collapse.

So, I must find a new blog address. One that is appropriate for a single mom of two beautiful girls, who is trying desperately to find her way and her place. A mom who sees reminders every single day of what is now lost and who is searching for the voice of God in this screwed up life that shouldn't be this way.

So, I say goodbye to this blog. Here is my new blog address:

http://www.imaginationofasinglemom.blogspot.com

See you there.