Impending Doom or New Phase??

I guess it just depends on how you look at the circumstances. After seven years of work at GST, my role is slowly transitioning for several reasons. First, I am having another baby and have not had the smoothest of pregnancies. Second, Thomas has a hankering (yes, I believe that truly is a word) to move up at the company and take on more responsibility. For these reasons, we cannot continue to work our awesome schedule where both of us get to spend so much time with Callie. We knew a change was coming, but there has been some doubt as to when this would happen. The doubt has now been replaced by certainty for Thomas and uncertainty for me.

So, why do I say "impending doom" in my subject? I think it is out of fear of the unknown. I will be extremely blessed to work from home Tuesday through Friday (for the time being) and can spend time with Callie and will have a chance to do some of the "wifely" things I have always wanted to do. Fix dinner for Thomas most evenings, be here more to make sure the house is in order, and kind of feel like a stay-at-home mom, all while still being employed full-time. I think that is where the doom sets in. I am not one to want to work from home necessarily. My expectations for myself become overwhelming because I feel like I have to work 10x as hard to make sure people know I am worth the effort and money for the company. I have to work harder to SHOW people what I am doing. It is different than being in the office all day where people see your productivity on a regular basis. This is the WORST - I also feel like all of the hard work I have done in specific areas of the company will be erased in a matter of weeks. Yes, it may just be a feeling, but it is still there and eats at my subconscious. I feel like I am breaking up my team and I hate that feeling. Does my team feel that way? No. They know I will hound them just as much as I ever have. I know, it is just me. I have worked my way into being more than the owners daughter, I have become a key player in my own right. I don't want to lose that part of my professional life.

On the other hand...new phase?? Yes. Absolutely. This change has the potential to totally change what I do for the company and where I am headed. There is no doubt in my mind that Monday will be the start of a brand new phase in my life and will be the start of something TOTALLY different. My responsibilities as an employee may be relatively the same, my duties as a wife and mother may be the same, but the way I approach those two areas will be completely different. It is mildly exciting, very scary and deeply troubling all at the same time. I have to make myself believe I am up to the task and can function above my own expectations. I MUST believe I will not fail. I also must believe the change is positive and will allow me to grow and learn.

All that being said, I am ready to meet it head on...I think. :-)