Tami's Blog

Fresh Start

2012-01-09T12:01:00.000-06:00

It's January and I am ready for a new start. I think it is such a cliche to want a new start in January and I have never been one for resolutions. This last calendar year has been the hardest year of my entire life. It has brought me to my knees spiritually, emotionally, physically and has challenged every ounce of my being. At several times, I think there were times I thought (and probably several people in my life thought) I wasn't going to make it. So far, I have made it. Life as I knew it has been shattered and I am faced with a new reality. I have been judged harshly by those I thought were called to be servants, however, I realize now that some situations will make me stronger in the end and that those who have judged cannot and will never know my situation. It is not their business to know and obviously the draw of the gossip of knowing our situation was more overpowering than wanting to help us get through the pain.

At any rate, I need something more. Right now, I live in my sister's old house, for which I am SO very thankful. I work in the same job and am surrounded by the same environment, but I feel like I need to strike out on a new path. I feel like God has been calling me to do this for some time, but I have not really been listening. I have just been so lost. At times, I felt like He wasn't there at all, but maybe He was just saying, "I already told you!" Someone told me yesterday, "Change is so hard." What a simple statement, but so very true. SO VERY TRUE. To change my current environment would mean to change a job that essentially I love and at which I make good money. It would mean to try and work out an arrangement with Thomas if I want to move away. I am not willing to go anywhere without the girls, so that means trying to convince Thomas to go, too. Change means biting the bullet and doing it.

So what am I afraid of? Why keep talking about it? Now is the perfect time to do it! Callie and Lyla are not in regular school yet, I am young, moderately healthy and I am capable of learning to do ANYTHING in any office environment. I still fear the unknown. I lack the faith and trust to jump out there and just let God carry us into the future. To be honest, in my brain and my heart, I think I feel like I really, really tried that two years ago and up until now, it has always been my opinion that He didn't carry me. That He dropped me and the proverbial "footprints in the sand" were not there. There was just a long line where I have been literally dragging myself. So, this weekend, maybe I decided He was there in some way, I just haven't seen it yet. I have had people SHOUTING at me over the last nine months that God cannot exist in a divorce and that Thomas and I just need to get back together and that is what God wants and that they know what God wants and I need to listen to them. I'm here to tell you that it is awfully hard to hear God when everyone else is shouting in your ear that they know what is best. Maybe God knew what was best. Maybe God has been talking to me and working in me and maybe He is there now. Maybe I was hurting SO bad for so many years, He just wanted His daughter to stop hurting and to be healed. I am sitting on a plane right now and at this moment the song Temporary Home is playing. How appropriate. This earth IS my temporary home, but while I am here, I need to listen to Him and work for God. I just feel like I belong somewhere else and I can do good somewhere else. I have a place, I just know it. Maybe JUST MAYBE I need to take the plunge, but I am so scared. He has a place for me somewhere, right?

Have you ever felt that way?

Update

2011-08-28T13:23:00.000-05:00

Time for a long overdue update...

The months since my last update in November have been long and very eventful. My personal life has been reduced to shambles, but at some point, I will emerge from the rubble a new person. Hopefully. I am learning to live in a different environment where the people I thought I could depend on, I couldn't, and those I least expected to be my support are those I find in my corner. I find that when people have perceptions of situations, it is very difficult to sway them from their beliefs.

My health has been up and down. I get frustrated with fatigue. The incredible heat here has been irritating because it seems to have an effect on me. When I was in Chicago for a week a few weeks ago, I felt pretty good. I don't know if that was because of all the time we spent outside or because we walked more or just because my general mood was better. Either way, when the cooler weather comes, I can't wait to spend more time with the girls outside! I have some plans for places to go while they are both still in preschool and the demands of regular school are not on us. :-)

We are trying to sell the house in Burleson, but reached a standstill when the realtor would not list it at the price we wanted. I would like to see what happens at the price we desire. I figure we can always drop the price, but if we price it too low, we have zero negotiating power. I love this house and I hate to let it go. It is a must. I wish work was closer. I would stay here in a heartbeat.

One last note! The NOCC walk to here again and we have another TEAM MEGANN! Sign up!

That's all for now. :-)

Lemons

2010-11-06T13:35:00.000-05:00

The NOCC walk was a huge success. It was raining cats and dogs, but we had a great turnout and I know Megann would have been so proud. Her parents were there and I was happy to see them. We had the brunch at church immediately following. It was a success as well. Leesa did a wonderful job coordinating and Jenny's Mom was the speaker. It was an emotional day, but a blessing.

In other areas, I feel like life is handing me lemons right now. Things are a struggle. Physical health is okay. I have a preliminary new diagnosis of Sjorgens Syndrome, which is moderately irritating. The girls are doing well, but other things in our home are not, so for all who happen upon this blog, we do need some really fervent prayers on our behalf. I don't know where we are headed, but I can only hope it is in the direction God has for us.

TEAM MEGANN!

2010-08-11T15:52:00.000-05:00

We are going to have Team Megann at the NOCC Walk to Break the Silence on Ovarian Cancer on September 25. Come walk/run with us! There is a one mile and a 5K. Go to the link below to register or I can register for you. When you register, select Team Megann from the list. All ages are welcome! We will order Team Megann T-shirts, so I will contact all those on our team and will get your shirt size. Let's get a lot of people out there! Tell your friends! We want to honor our wonderful friend, Megann! We miss her so much and don't want to lose anymore friends to this terrible disease.

REGISTER FOR TEAM MEGANN HERE

After the walk, there is a Ladies Brunch at Heritage. This is going to be a wonderful event and I encourage all of our women to go. You will have time to do the one mile and then go over to the brunch. There should be time to freshen up and change clothes between the events.

Leave a comment if you have any questions!

2010-07-25T18:58:00.000-05:00

When one has not blogged in such a long time, one is tempted to "catch up" and talk about everything that has happened in the last 3-4 months. I will resist. Instead, I will say that this week has brought some sadness, with the passing of Thomas' grandmother, Wilma Smith. We called her Ninny. She was a great woman - very caring and LOVED us. She adored the girls. We went to see her last weekend and Thomas was able to say goodbye and that was such a blessing. He also was able to see her about six weeks ago and she was in slightly better health then. The last twelve months met us with the loss of many loved family members and friends. It is hard to come to grips with the fact that we are getting older and this will become more apart of our life. I suppose that is why God gives us each other.

Enough of the sad news! I guess I will go ahead and catch you up on a FEW things. :-) Since I blogged last, I celebrated my 9th year with GST - NINE years. We also decided to enroll our kids in preschool and look forward to the girls being in a classroom style environment. Thomas is due for another liver scan and is not to have raw shellfish. In honor of that, we have probably eaten more raw oysters in the last 12 months than we have in the last 12 years. I will turn 33 this week. That is only two years younger than my Mom was when my parents moved from TX to CA!! In my brain, my parents are still that age.

We are trying to get our house on the market right now. We have done a GREAT job of accumulating junk in the last (almost) five years of homeownership. Moving out of the house that Tim helped us buy and we brought our girls home to is very bittersweet, but the benefits will be awesome. We look forward to being closer to our church family and work.

One last note. I was cleaning out one of our closets and found a large storage tub full of "memories" from highschool and college. It was everything from pictures and letters to Kojie memorabilia and youth group papers. It was like going back in time. I probably sat in that closet for an hour looking at different items. After I was done, I sealed the tub back up and put it in the stack to go to storage. Such wonderful memories contained in that plastic container. It made me think of all that my girls have to look forward to and all their lives have to offer. I wonder what is ahead for them and if I am capable of helping them make the right decisions and letting them make the wrong ones when it won't hurt them and they can learn from doing so. I hope so.

Spoon Theory

2010-03-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

I have waited for quite some time to update my blog. After Jenny's passing and with so much going on at work and church, I needed to wait. Even though my previous blog about Jenny was very positive, obviously things for her physical body went downhill after that posting. She will be missed.

I have posted many pictures on facebook to catch up on the snow days, retreat and other various events that have taken place in the last few months, so that is where I have chosen to keep them. For now, I am using this blog as more of a personal space to express my thoughts on my health and other things happening. So few people read my blog now (and so many are on FB) that I feel this can be more of an occasional outlet for that sort of writing. On the other hand, I won't always be a Debbie Downer. :-)

Yesterday, after a few days of having a lot of pain in my hips and hands, I found an essay written by Christine Miserandino called The Spoon Theory. She has a website (or is part of a website) that is http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/. I found this after many tears shed over the fact that I am in a position in my life right now that I simply cannot do the things I want to do and have the heart to do, without risk. Not necessarily risk to my health right now (I will wear myself out and will crash), but to my marriage, family and to my employment.

My tears in the last 36 hours have come over Music Camp. I am so happy they are wanting to do Music Camp again. I went to the meeting today and am THRILLED that Brittany is taking a leadership role and I am excited to help her (and that she is willing to let me help). She and I were able to brainstorm some awesome ideas today that I think will really be incredible. Conversely, it has been devastating to come to the realization that I cannot do what I could do two years ago. I was able to be in the room by myself with 60 kids and control them, teach them, love them and learn from them and now I know I cannot. I could teach them, but I couldn't possibly do that all day with that many kids AND discipline them AND do everything else. I am limiting myself to working with the actors and doing lines, staging and blocking. I am mentoring Brittany and passing the torch on something that I love so much it hurts. I love Brittany and trust her so much. I trust her decisions and judgement and I know she is doing this out of love for the kids. I would not want to see it any other way. Ultimately, this is another thing in my life that is this way. It is not just Music Camp, it is a list of activities in which I have had to step back and set limits. I HATE LIMITS. I want to push the limits and in the last two days, when it has been painful just to walk up my stairs, I know that setting these limits is right, but it doesn't stop hurting my heart.

It has been so hard to express to Thomas my feelings on this subject. When I found this essay, I printed it and had him read it. The author is obviously much farther along in her journey, but there is one part that describes my feelings so accurately.

"It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to....When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom."

I think I struggle with this because I am 32. I had a benchmark of where I was and I am in a place where I have realized I cannot reach that benchmark again. I thought losing 40+ pounds would give me just a hint of more energy. No. I thought medicine might. No. Maybe alternative therapies. No. My doctors don't think I am sick enough to really treat yet and I am stuck.

I find myself asking God why He is doing this and what my purpose is constantly. At church, we have been called to be lights of the world, but I struggle to be a light to my kids, let alone the world. Sometimes, Christians get the label of already having the light, but right now, mine is one of those little LED flashlights you get at Walmart. In my heart, I want to be a stadium light, but I just don't know how to get there right now.

Update

2010-02-11T21:47:00.001-06:00

One of my co-workers came into my office this week and said they "wandered onto my blog" and "update the blog already." So, on that note, I thought I would go ahead and post something lighthearted. This is in lieu of talking about Jenny. FYI - I am SO thankful she has made it through the last week. It is a real testament to the power of prayer!

Anyway - onto the lightheartedness (is that a word?).

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One looks at the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

THANK YOU!! I'm here all week!

Snow White

2010-01-11T21:46:00.001-06:00

There is something about watching Snow White for the first time with your child. I bought Callie and Lyla Snow White and Sleeping Beauty today (before they go back into "The Vault") and we sat down to watch Snow White and Callie was so excited. It was amazing to see her face light up when Snow White came onto the screen and there she was, not just a picture of her on a book or some sort of toy. Anyway, I can't really describe it, but I can say Callie was pretty cute.

This blog entry is really about updates. I am still taking 150 pills every night. Okay, so it is down to something like 8-1/2. That is positive. The doctor confirmed today that I am crazy, so at least we all got that diagnosis correct! Just kidding. He did assure me that I DO have Lupus and I am not a hypochondriac (sp?). That made me feel a little better.

I think I have decided that if I can round up enough friends that I want to take a long weekend trip somewhere. It can be either just women or women and spouses, but then we have to deal with childcare in a lot of cases, so maybe we should just say women. Just kidding. Hmmmm...let's go somewhere fun, yet inexpensive. I will have to think on that, but we need to do it soon. March is all booked up with Spring Break for many and a lot of church events, but maybe after? Who is with me? :-)

On a very, very positive note, Thomas FINALLY had his scan done and his liver situation has remained unchanged, which is an answer to prayer. He will go in for another scan in 6-12 months. We will just assume that it is a hemangioma and is nothing. :-)

If you are a Heritage woman (or want to be one), think about going to the retreat. It is going to be A-W-E-SOME! I'm not blowin' smoke. Seriously. This is a fun time had by all (women over 18). We need some of our more mature ladies to join us this year. We need some mentoring going on! Get your grass skirts and come on out! Actually, if you show up with grass skirts, I will laugh. That has absolutely nothing to do with the theme. However, if you bring a grass skirt, I promise to bring a coconut bra. Just ask Jeana. I have one. I wore it to Mistee's house for her Hawaiian themed Bunco. Over my clothes, of course. TMI? Sorry ministers, since I know some of you tend to wander this direction sometimes. :-)

Have a good one!

2009

2009-12-31T15:28:00.000-06:00

Goodbye, 2009. Glad to see you go.

Trying to remember the good things from 2009:
Girls were healthy
Women's Retreat
New friends
Can now make Gumbo in my sleep
B&B in Nacogdoches

Prayer for 2010:
"Into my heart. Into my heart. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus. Come in today, come in to stay. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus."

People who graced my life that I will not see again in this body, but will see again someday:
Uncle Richard Williams - Hilarious, loving, fun, Christian man. He was always a part of our lives, but in the last few years was truly a blessing to Thomas and me. He had a connection with us that could not be duplicated and we truly felt close to him and Aunt Theresa, even though they live in California. He made an impact on their small community and I miss him deeply. I had thought of him often since I attended his memorial service in California earlier in the Fall. His laugh still rings in my ears and I think on the good times fondly. Still, a lump forms in my throat when I see his smile in the projector of my mind.

Tim Head - As stated on his honor page and on my blog below, Tim was a wonderful friend, who touched many, many lives in his short time here. My heart cannot make sense of our loss of Tim. He did so much for Thomas and me and we were just like so many countless others in Tim's life. Tim and Amy have been a blessing to us and I regret not telling them more often. I doubt that Tim ever understood how grateful we were for the work he did. His sense of humor will never be forgotten and his Christian example will live on through the many works he did.

My hope for 2010:
The right Lupus medication
God will ease my troubled mind
My family will remain healthy
The family business will survive
Henry Weinhardt's Root Beer will be sold in Albertson's

Honoring Tim

2009-12-27T11:27:00.001-06:00

Oh snap. I read my postings before this and realize how selfish I am. The last 2-1/2 days, my mind has been consumed by thoughts of Amy. I have been thinking of Samantha and the whole family, but mostly Amy.

Tim was wonderful. He was thoughtful. God put him in our life right at the moment when we needed him and Tim CHANGED OUR LIFE. Tim got us into our first house. Consequently, we had our first daughter and more importantly, our marriage survived. Many people don't know how rocky our marriage was until that point. So, we happened to mention to Tim in passing that we were going to try and find some stability at some point by getting into our first house. Tim ran with it. It took almost eight months for it to happen and it did because Tim was persistent and he made it work. In the last few weeks, he was working to try and help us sell that very house to get us closer to Heritage. It isn't just the house. It is so many other things he did or said. Too many things to list. He was hilarious, thoughtful, caring and a friend to all.

So, I keep thinking of Amy. I laid in bed last night and couldn't sleep because I kept thinking of how she could possibly be dealing with all of this. She has a wonderful support network, but in the quiet of the night, when she is alone with her thoughts...I just can't imagine. Last night, I tried to mentally send her my sleep. Not sure that it worked. :-)

To say the thing I most want to say...I can't believe this has happened. I don't understand it and I don't know why it has happened, but it has. I haven't processed it yet, but I know that I will never be the same because I knew Tim. Thomas said, "Do you ever think maybe things like this happen because God wants us to see how we should be? How we should become better people and be like those who left us behind?" Well, I don't know, but I do know there is no doubt Tim is in heaven. Tim's life makes me aspire to be a better person.

Amy will never read this, but I want her to know I don't say the right thing. I am not good at words. I am good at sticking my foot in my mouth. I want to do something, anything, to help. I don't know what that is right now. Maybe that will be something in a year that comes up, maybe it will be something further down the road. I want her to know I am sharing in her sorrow and the Freeman family loves her and Samantha so much.

It's official. I am your personal Debbie Downer.

2009-12-17T00:34:00.002-06:00

Note: This is a blog in which I vent. If you don't want to hear me complain, please do not read anything before the third paragraph.

Do you ever just want to go into a room and scream, yell and cry? Then, you do just that, but you really don't feel any better. You just feel hoarse and you have a red face. It's a horrible feeling. I feel that way, only I am way too tired to even scream. I just pretty much wallow in my misery. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I know that my body hates me right now and my heart is in one place and my body holds me back. It is so very frustrating. I want to be playing with my kids, but my body says it wants to rest. I try to push myself and often I push beyond my limits and then I feel physically sick later. I want to give the same amount of hours and commitment at work, but I don't have the stamina right now. I can't focus the same because I have pushed so hard and am so worn out that I just have to take a break. I am so tired and my motivation dwindles with every passing day. The drug my doctors have put me on was supposed to help my malaise and my other symptoms and it has not, so I have to wait for my next appointment. In the meantime, my immune system had to fight off a bad cold and it has left me with nothing.

Nothing physically or spiritually. Physically and mentally, I feel like a disappointment to my co-workers and to Thomas. I was the rock at work. I was the person who could stay there until midnight, who could remember everything at the drop of a hat and the person they could depend on for anything and everything. I pushed myself to be the absolute best. Now, I am pushing myself to just be the best I can possibly be until we find something that makes life bearable. I feel like a disappointment to Thomas. He has picked up so much slack in our house and he doesn't deserve this kind of life. My mental state has forced him to even have to dispense my 12 different pills every night and he does so without complaint. He takes care of me and every day, I hit this wall in my mind when I know his life is not what he bargained for. Spiritually, I am empty. I am trying to stay involved in everything I can at church. I feel alone, but most of that is because I live 25-30 minutes from church and so many people have told me I have isolated myself. I am waiting and praying for God to fill me spiritually, but to this point, I am filled with self doubt and dispair.

The one thing in my life right now (other than Christmas) that I am truly excited about is the Women's Retreat. I am knee deep in the planning and it is going to be so much fun and just an absolutely awesome weekend. I am excited about the theme, about the ideas and about having a meeting with our planning committee. I am pumped about the location because it is truly incredible (assuming we go with this particular place). I am thrilled that our planners are willing to fundraise to help subsidize the cost so we can have it somewhere really nice, but keep it affordable. I mean, seriously, most of the rooms have jacuzzi tubs! The property owner has given us an incredible deal, if we can make it work out financially. On the theme front, my brain is exploding with everything from decor to activities. I can't wait! I am anxious about people wanting to not spend the night because the location is closer than last year and I am anxious about the money, however, I know God will work it out and give us some great ideas on how to get a great age range and income range at the retreat. It will be a really wonderful event.

So, say a prayer that the doctor gets me on the right meds and I find a way to start resting. Thomas and I are going to try and sell our house, so please pray that we can get it on the market and sold soon so we can move closer to church and work. One more - pray for my mental state. Not doing well and I am great at not telling anyone but PB. It is one day at a time and I need some prayer support to get through this. I am not great with people laying hands on me and praying. Just seeing the stats on my blog and knowing someone is reading this and MIGHT be praying is enough for me. If you do, thanks.

2009-10-25T01:18:00.000-05:00

It's been four weeks on the new meds and they aren't working. I know it is supposed to take up to 12 weeks, but I am just so tired. Physically, I am still having the same symptoms and emotionally, well, not doing great. Spiritually, I can't even describe the bottomless pit I feel myself in right now. In the back of my mind, I am getting scared that the normal medication for Lupus is not going to work on me. I don't want to be a medical black sheep. I want to be textbook. I want this medicine to work and I want to feel better. This has been the hardest year of my life and the punches keep getting thrown. I believe that God's assessment of "how much I can handle" is a little off. Not to take away from His knowledge, but honestly.

At any rate, I just needed to write this down, rather than just cry about it at home. I guess this is another late night vent session. :-)

New Journey

2009-09-29T00:23:00.002-05:00

Several of you already know this and many of you have asked. I am posting here and not on Facebook because only my friends read this and many of my "friends" on FB are really just acquaintances and I am just not ready for a big deal about this yet.

I have been diagnosed with Lupus and Chronic Epstein Barr Virus. The theory is that at some point in my life, I had mono or something in that virus family and the infection stayed active in my cells. I have never been diagnosed with mono, but it makes sense because I am so affectionate. Haha. That infection has caused the Lupus (in theory), which is obviously, at this point, incurable. Many, many people walk around with inactive Epstein Barr in their bodies, but for some reason, it just stayed active with me. This explains my hair loss, extreme fatigue, joint pain and other symptoms. I was diagnosed several weeks ago and have been to two different specialists and had the tests run and exams done multiple times. I am confident that the diagnosis is correct, but my immediate family is still in denial. I don't think any of us wants it to be true.

So, I wasn't ever going to write this blog entry, but I read a story on yahoo today about Lucy Vodder, the inspiration for the Beatles' "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds." She died today at 46 from Lupus. She battled the disease for five years. FIVE YEARS. That's it. She was only 46 years old! After I read the article, I read the responses from the people below the story and saw many stories of those who had lost a loved one from this disease and honestly, I got scared. I have been scared this whole time. I don't think I am going to have a severe case of this disease and I don't believe that I am going to die in five years, but I also don't know what God has in store for me. When I hugged my babies tonight before they went to sleep, a little voice went off my head, "If you leave them in five years, will Lyla even remember you? Even if she does, will she remember this you or a disabled you that has Lupus?"

So, I keep having these conversations with God in my car when I am alone. I guess they are more like one sided shouting matches. I think that is okay - we are supposed to be conversational with Him, right? My faith has been shaken a lot this year, now more than ever. I have a hard time dragging myself out of bed and I am not afraid to say that my kids are what gets me to church. I am always glad to have gone, but my motivation level is lacking a bit. I keep thinking of those who have really had a struggle - those we walked for on Saturday, those who are going through daily struggles to just keep on living. I see myself as selfish for being angry about my diagnosis and I see myself as being weak.

Nevertheless, I am completely scared. I am anxious about what the future holds for my family and for my kids. I love them. I could live until I am 80 or I could live five years. I guess that is true no matter what, but there is something different when you know there is something inside you that could cause your death that is otherwise not in most other people.

I guess I am done venting. I don't need anything. I guess just some prayers - more for mental strength and spiritual strength than physical strength right now. I don't care who knows about the diagnosis, but I don't want people giving me pity eyes or avoiding me. I am still me, just me with Lupus. FYI - the Epstein Barr is not contagious and you can't get Lupus from me either. I guess I am beginning a new phase of my life. Not really what I had planned.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

2009-05-14T22:58:00.003-05:00

That title is misleading. I would like for there to be some ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, but no luck. Yet.

Eight years ago today I took a job working at GST for my parents. I promised them and Thomas that it would be short term and we would only stay for a maximum of two years. HA! I started out in the shop - I remember my Dad telling me I had to work my way up and start by getting my hands dirty. Apparently, this was only a requirement for his youngest child. My first 6 months in particular were spent wrapping pallets, driving forklifts, coming home sweaty and gross on some days and being immersed into a culture that was a far cry from the ultra political scene of the Campus Life office at ACU. Not that I didn't like ACU, but most of you know that working there really tainted my overall view of the university. That is another story for another day.

Anyway, so I started in the Shipping Department and then I worked my way into Purchasing, then Customer Service, then Accounts Payable, then Office Manager and now I am Corporate Controller. In the last eight years, my sister has come on officially full-time (after working on a part-time, but really more than that basis for many years), my brother came on and slid right into a VP role and we have expanded to three facilities. Thomas came on five years ago. In other words, what was once really just Dad, Mom and me (and Tonya on the fringe, but knowing a lot of the people and knowing what is going on) is now all of us. It is an interesting dynamic.

All of that to say - eight years is a long time. I really want to go on a nice, relaxing vacation.

2009-04-13T20:12:00.002-05:00

"Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest..."

Simon and Garfunkel

Not talking about Thomas. I just heard that song today and it made me think of things in the past. I miss home.

No comments necessary.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-12-28T15:50:00.002-06:00

I just want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year. We had a wonderful Christmas and were spoiled by our families, as usual. We are so blessed and God has continued to keep us safe and relatively healthy this year. May the new year bring a time of renewed faith, good health and love to all of you. We are thankful for our friends - new and old - and may God bless each of your lives.

Love,
Thomas, Tami, Callie and Lyla

What Do You Think?

2008-11-10T11:27:00.003-06:00

I read an article this morning regarding some of the things Obama will do with his executive power without "waiting for Congressional action." Some of the issues he is going to change immediately with his executive powers are removing any restrictions on stem cell research and closing off 360,000 acres of public land in Utah to prevent drilling. Regardless of how I feel about these issues, what was more disturbing to me were the comments left by 654 people below this particular story. The comments were varied, but seemed to be split 50/50 - almost ALL were attacking the other side in some major way. Not intelligent debate, just attack after attack from all sides. I realize after every election, there is this type of discussion all over the media and internet. This is especially the case when people are so divided.

So, here is my controversial question for the quarter...

Do you believe our new President-elect will unite or divide our country?

Don't worry about leaving your comments - you can always leave them anonymously. I know many people who read my blog voted different ways. I want to hear what you really think. Don't hold back and don't just write the PC answer. I look forward to reading your thoughts.

Halloween

2008-11-01T19:31:00.012-05:00

Before I discuss our awesome Halloween, I have a very important announcement....

For the very first time ever, someone came to the door to come out and ask if Callie could play! There are a TON of kids in our neighborhood, but since I was so sick during the pregnancy, we really didn't spend a whole lot of time out front with her. Last night, she played a lot with a little girl next door named Jasmine and Jasmine knocked on our door tonight to ask if Callie could play! It was sweet and made us feel good that she had so much fun with Callie, even though she is five and Callie is two. Anywho - it was heartwarming.

On to Halloween...

As you know, Thomas LOVES Halloween. Let me tell make it clear - he doesn't like cutsy Halloween. He likes scary Halloween. The scarier the better, BUT we had Trunk of Treats at church and I reminded him it was not appropriate to be scary. So, alas, we went as the Swedish Chef and Miss Piggy from The Muppets. He was HILARIOUS and my costume was perfect, in light of the number of pounds I packed on when I stopped being pregnant (because it was then that I was finally able to eat). So, the first set of pictures is from Trunk of Treats - Callie was a spider and Lyla was a ladybug! Also, note the awesome carving of pumpkins. I only did one - Thomas gets credit for the rest...

For our home celebration of Halloween, of course our house was all decorated, as usual. This year, Thomas built a graveyard and we went with a spider theme. As you can see from the house pictures, our spiders had captured a human in their web this year. It was pretty awesome! We played a track through our window that everyone thought was real. The BEST PART was Thomas as the undertaker. He wandered around the graveyard looking frightening. He was in charge of scaring the kids and I was in charge of softening the blow with giving them big handfuls of candy (with the girls) on the porch. We had a great time, but there was one problem - we have determined that due to Friday night football, we had about 75-100 less trick or treaters this year. We only had about 115 and that was pretty sad. We will still continue to do cool stuff though and hopefully, have more kids next year!

Thomas had an awesome idea to carve the inside of a pumpkin and let the candles show the design. He was going to do "redrum" and then determined the letters had too many curves for the short time frame he had to get it done. Can you read this one? I told you he likes scary Halloween....

So, believe it or not, now I have started planning Christmas! Plus, I have Bunco at my house this year, so the pressure is on. :-)

2008-10-14T08:58:00.006-05:00

Lyla wears A LOT of hand-me-downs. Callie had some adorable clothes and we have again put many of them to good use with our newest little girl. Yesterday, after we arrived back home from a full day at work and my parents' house, I put Lyla in a yellow ducky sleeper. I remembered taking a picture of Callie wearing this right after she was born in 2006, so I took a picture of Lyla in it as well. The pictures are kind of grainy because I took them all with my phone. Callie was only 6 days old when we took hers, Lyla is now two months. What do you think? Do they look alike to you? Do you know which one is which?

Bad Things Happen In Threes

2008-10-09T14:56:00.003-05:00

Isn't that the saying? Well, we have experienced that at GST over the last few weeks. A few weeks ago, we had an employee pass away very unexpectedly at his home. It was a very sad situation and I am sad that we didn't know him better than we did.

The second happened this morning. We had an employee suffer a heart attack after arriving to work. The paramedics were called and he was transported to the hospital immediately. At around 2:00, we found out he had passed away. He has been having heart problems for quite some time, but, as Thomas puts it, he was "just talking to him this morning." This employee was one of the nicest guys you could meet and it breaks my heart to hear of his passing.

The final issue was also this morning. Some of you may have heard about the shooting in Haltom City that happened early today. It happened in front of our new facility and my Dad and a few other people were there as it was taking place. They had to watch a man die in front of them and they were helpless. There was no way to save him and they have not caught the guy who committed the crime. These are images that will forever stay in the minds of those that were there. UPDATE: They did find the guy they think did the shooting and he is in jail in Haltom City.

All of the above remind me of how precious life is and how I need to remember to take advantage of every minute. Please keep the families of these individuals in your prayers.

Despair

2008-10-06T22:52:00.002-05:00

Here is another print I love from http://www.despair.com/...

Cupcakes

2008-09-14T17:44:00.006-05:00

So, obviously, I have a sweet tooth. Thomas and I have recently discovered a place in Fort Worth that I am hesitant to even mention to you. I want to keep it to myself, but I just can't. So, whenever you are downtown, hop over on Camp Bowie and go here... The Cupcake Cottage.

On another note, we have a new bakery opening up next door to our office. Yes, I said NEXT DOOR. How can life be so cruel? They will specialize in cupcakes, cookies and cheesecakes. They aren't open yet, but are called J. Rae's. They are hiring and I am seriously tempted to apply. :-) Since Tonya and I are starting a new weight bet on Friday, I am really wishing these bakeries were close to our Janada facility, since Tonya is there everyday. Oh well. Pray for will power!!

California, Callie's Birthday and Baby Shower

2008-09-07T18:25:00.015-05:00

Okay - so it has been a really busy four weeks for me. As you know, four weeks ago this coming Tuesday, Lyla Megann was born and things have been crazy ever since! Just a side note - when my mom was here helping with Callie, look at what Callie got for breakfast one day...

The last weekend of August, I flew out to California to sing at the wedding of a childhood friend. It was fantastic to be at home, but the trip was too short and I wanted my family with me. Fortunately, Thomas is awesome and really wanted me out of the house - so he agreed I could go and he would watch the kids, with the help of his parents. Here are just a couple of pictures from my trip...the first is from that Friday afternoon when all the girls went to go get pedicures and manicures - this is Stacey, the bride. The second is a picture of Kristen, Steve and Christy. Steve is Christy's husband and the two girls are friends from highschool. They were bridesmaids at the wedding. The third picture is of Keith and Stacey - the bride and groom! The last is of Stacey and me - do I look tired or what? I was and it was only 9:00 pm...

Yesterday, the 6th, Callie turned TWO. Yes, TWO. Scares me to no end. I have several pictures from the family party we had last night. We had 19 people at our house for the celebration and it was fantastic. Callie was blessed to get a ton of great gifts and she had a blast with her cousins. The first picture is of the cake that Thomas and I made. It turned out pretty good, I think. It matched her invitations, party decor and dress...

Callie received a stage from my parents for her room! It is shown here and fantastic! We are doing her new room in movies and music and she is such a ham. She loves to sing to us and couldn't have been more thrilled with this gift. Callie's older cousins helped her open the huge pile of gifts. Callie learned how to hold up two fingers, but she still has to concentrate pretty hard to keep them in the right place. Obviously, Tatum does a little better with a plate and fork, judging by the fact that Callie is stripped down and wearing a bib. Tatum will be three in October and is Tye and Jere's youngest.This is Callie on the stage after she put on her new princess costume from Papa and Grandma Sharri. Papa George helping her with her new toys. WHAT AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY!!
Last, but certainly not least, we had Lyla's Baby Blessing and Baby Shower at church today. I don't have the pictures from the blessing yet, but here are just a couple from the shower. Thanks to Pam, Jeana, Tonya and Mistee for an awesome shower! I am so blessed to have friends like you guys...the shower was awesome and you did way too much!!

It has been a great four weeks. Did I mention that I am going to work tomorrow? UGH.

Announcement...

2008-08-19T20:48:00.003-05:00

Lyla Megann Freeman

Born August 12, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Weighed 7 lb., 12 oz.

19-3/4" long

Update

2008-07-25T13:15:00.021-05:00

Well, we are in the final week(s) of what I think has been the longest pregnancy on the books. Just kidding. It just seems that way. In fact, the other night, someone at Bunco said, "It seems like you have been pregnant forever!" Tell me about it!!

Anyway - feeling pretty good. Ready to be able to drive again!! I am at Thomas's mercy when it comes to leaving the house. I feel pretty bad for him. By the time Thursday rolls around, I am usually a bit of a bear to deal with at home because of cabin fever!

So, I finally moved my pictures over to my new-to-me computer at home, so I am posting a few morsels from the past for your viewing pleasure!

WARNING - LOTS OF PICTURES! This catches me up for some of what I intended to post for 2007. It really only catches me up on a few events, so you may still see some random pictures from the past show up on my blog.

One year ago - my surprise 30th bday party...

Pamela A. being funny. Or so she thinks.

I don't think I have any pictures of Tammie not making a face, so here it is.

The pictures below are from our night out for Pam's birthday last September. We went to The Melting Pot.

Here are some more pictures from our vacation to the West Coast last fall.

These are from my Halloween Bunco last year. I made spaghetti and this is how I plated it. Also, everything was candlelit, so I thought it was pretty neat. Don't know what my Bunco friends thought, but we can pretend they loved it.

What is she doing, you ask? Why, she is smoking a chocolate dipped pretzel, of course!

Pumpkin Patch with the cousins below.

We helped out with the small group sponge toss at Trunk of Treats this year. Tonya and Trey did a great job of making our dummy and Tonya was by far one of the funniest to work it. Below that are some pumpkins Thomas carved.

That gets me through October 2007!! Not at many pictures as I wanted to post, but it will do for now. :-)

No Big Deal

2008-07-05T23:11:00.002-05:00

Hi Friends,

Several of you have inquired as to why I visited the hospital last week and how I am feeling, so I thought I would go ahead and post an update!

First, thank you all so much for your prayers and well-wishes. My circumstances pale in comparison with what others are going through and it means a lot to have such great friends around us during this exciting (and yet a little frustrating) time.

As many of you know, I have been having dizziness and fainting issues since the end of March. Some of this is very normal during pregnancy and many of you have gone through it yourselves. Generally, it is very manageable and can be controlled. When I visited my doctor last Monday, I casually mentioned that the last two fainting spells I have had, there has been no warning and I fell (not hard, but still a fall) when it happened. To my knowledge, once I was in a horizontal position, I "came to" and was fine about 15 seconds into the ordeal. Well, having the awesome doctor that I do, she was...ummm...VERY UPSET with me for not calling and reporting the "no notice" to them. To me, this has all become second nature and, as scary as it can be while it is happening, it has become my recent reality.

Needless to say, she gave me two hours to go home and get things set up with my parents for Callie, grab a few items for overnight stay at Harris and drop by work for a minute. Once I arrived to the hospital, she had my room number and specialists waiting for me to start running tests. The sad part is that they do not know what is causing it and cannot run any neurological tests until after the baby is born. She considers me a "fall risk" (which was the reason for the orange socks) and is extremely concerned that if I am up and about, I will fall and possibly injure myself or the baby. From the way she was talking about it, I assume she has had some sort of experience with either the death of a mom or a baby due to a fall and this has her very concerned, which you can tell by the way she is handling my case. She is a fantastic doctor and I couldn't appreciate her more.

Of course, I understand all of this, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. On a good note - I am now 35 weeks, so we are definitely on a downhill slide toward Callie having a little brother or sister!!

Because all of you are the people you are, I have already been offered meals, babysitting, you name it. Trust me, I will let you know if I need anything other than prayers right now! If you think I won't let you know, you can always call Tonya and she will be honest with you...usually.

Thanks again for being the friends you are to our family!
Tami

Hospital Boredom Sets In...

2008-06-30T22:02:00.004-05:00

That being said...here are two pictures for your viewing pleasure:

This one is just for See Dub. I am a fall risk, so they are having me wear these WONDERFUL orange socks and use this BEAUTIFUL orange blanket. Mary N. decided it would be fun if she were the one to deliver these to my room. THANKS.

Thomas is very proud of our ET picture.

Music Camp!

2008-06-13T19:55:00.002-05:00

Our performances for Music Camp are this weekend! The kids have worked so very hard and I am so proud of them! Check out our blog (big thanks to See Dub)!

Performances are Saturday and Sunday at 6:00 pm at Heritage! Come and see our kids and their wonderful production, AmeriKids!

Impending Doom or New Phase??

2008-05-31T23:46:00.004-05:00

I guess it just depends on how you look at the circumstances. After seven years of work at GST, my role is slowly transitioning for several reasons. First, I am having another baby and have not had the smoothest of pregnancies. Second, Thomas has a hankering (yes, I believe that truly is a word) to move up at the company and take on more responsibility. For these reasons, we cannot continue to work our awesome schedule where both of us get to spend so much time with Callie. We knew a change was coming, but there has been some doubt as to when this would happen. The doubt has now been replaced by certainty for Thomas and uncertainty for me.

So, why do I say "impending doom" in my subject? I think it is out of fear of the unknown. I will be extremely blessed to work from home Tuesday through Friday (for the time being) and can spend time with Callie and will have a chance to do some of the "wifely" things I have always wanted to do. Fix dinner for Thomas most evenings, be here more to make sure the house is in order, and kind of feel like a stay-at-home mom, all while still being employed full-time. I think that is where the doom sets in. I am not one to want to work from home necessarily. My expectations for myself become overwhelming because I feel like I have to work 10x as hard to make sure people know I am worth the effort and money for the company. I have to work harder to SHOW people what I am doing. It is different than being in the office all day where people see your productivity on a regular basis. This is the WORST - I also feel like all of the hard work I have done in specific areas of the company will be erased in a matter of weeks. Yes, it may just be a feeling, but it is still there and eats at my subconscious. I feel like I am breaking up my team and I hate that feeling. Does my team feel that way? No. They know I will hound them just as much as I ever have. I know, it is just me. I have worked my way into being more than the owners daughter, I have become a key player in my own right. I don't want to lose that part of my professional life.

On the other hand...new phase?? Yes. Absolutely. This change has the potential to totally change what I do for the company and where I am headed. There is no doubt in my mind that Monday will be the start of a brand new phase in my life and will be the start of something TOTALLY different. My responsibilities as an employee may be relatively the same, my duties as a wife and mother may be the same, but the way I approach those two areas will be completely different. It is mildly exciting, very scary and deeply troubling all at the same time. I have to make myself believe I am up to the task and can function above my own expectations. I MUST believe I will not fail. I also must believe the change is positive and will allow me to grow and learn.

All that being said, I am ready to meet it head on...I think. :-)

Mother's Day and Evening with Reese

2008-05-16T22:01:00.004-05:00

Tonight, we had the pleasure of having Sara's youngest over while she and Pete went out. She and Callie had fun playing in Callie's kitchen. Reese really showed Callie the ropes with some of her toys! She showed her how to work the pepper grinder, how to use the microwave and how to organize her kitchen! Callie had so much fun with cousin Reese and we were thrilled to have her here! Here are some cute pictures of the two of them playing...

And my favorite of the two of them....

Also, here the only picture we took from Mother's Day. Thomas and Callie took me to The Melting Pot and we had a great time! Unfortunately, it was a humid day, so my hair is all over the place. Oh well! Here is the picture anyway...

Stars Game

2008-04-30T15:41:00.010-05:00

One quick note...in the words of the Von Trapp Family Singers...So Long, Farewell, Avery. Wish things had worked out...you are a good coach, but the Mavs just didn't respond to you this year. Here's to a fresh start with a new coach next year!

Thomas and I were lucky enough to snag four tickets to the Stars Playoff game last night against the Sharks. We took my parents with us and had a fantastic time! I took some pictures with my phone from our seats and am posting them below.

Let me take a very brief moment to talk about my obsession with hockey. It all started when my friend, Adrienne, took me to a Sharks game when we were in junior high. If I remember correctly, her neighbor was a NHL ref and was able to get them tickets from time to time. Of course, the only thing I knew was the Sharks and I loved them! They were my hometown team! I kind of got out of the hcokey side of life when I was in my last year in highschool and then my first two years in college. Then, Thomas and I met and I realized how much I missed watching the excitement. Of course, a couple of years later, I found myself rooting for the Stars and they won the Stanley Cup! As I sat at the game last night, I realized I am a die hard Stars fan, and, no matter what my former allegiance was, I had to root them on to victory. Sharks - I love ya, but I can't wait to see you go down in this series!!

One of the faceoffs during the second period:

My parents:

Morrow talking with the ref after a bad call:

Ribeiro on the hunt for a goal. The lady in front of me had beautiful hair. It wasn't as big as it looks in this picture.

It was a lot of fun! Glad we were blessed enough to get tickets from our pals at Samuel and Son.

Ladies Brunch

2008-04-25T18:32:00.003-05:00

I am posting this picture just for those sitting at my table. Does it bring back fond memories from a few weeks ago?

Severe Weather #2

2008-04-18T12:42:00.003-05:00

So, last night wasn't that bad in Burleson, but we were still pounded by small hail and very heavy rain. I hope all of you reading my blog were able to escape the storms with little or no damage! The folks out in Weatherford and Mineral Wells seemed to get hit hard again, but I haven't heard about any injuries so far, so that is a good thing! Here is a picture of the hail that accumulated by our back door. It is a pretty dark picture because I took it with my phone, but you can still make out some detail. Looked like it had snowed in our backyard...

Per my promise below...

2008-04-14T13:08:00.001-05:00

As per my promise below, I have taken down the videos from the Talent Revue...if you missed them, let me know! I promised to only post them temporarily, so there you go...

By popular demand...

2008-04-11T22:18:00.008-05:00

Before you watch the videos below, I have to apologize to some people for posting them. I have had too many people ask if they could watch these again, and after much thought, I decided to post them, even if it is only temporarily. So, Jeremy H. (and the other ministers), I'm sorry.

The below are from our "Tributes to the Greatest Duets" that we showed at the Talent Revue...

Captain and Tennille

Eddie Rabbit and Crystal Gayle

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias

Update

2008-04-08T16:20:00.002-05:00

Our friend, Terri (mentioned below), underwent surgery yesterday and is doing well. Please continue to pray for her. If you would like to send her a note of well-wishes (even if you don't know her, she would love it, I am sure), then visit...

www.carepages.com
(Her carepage is named terricroak)

Thank you!

News

2008-04-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

Thomas just called me to inform me of another person close to us that has been diagnosed with cancer. Her name is Terry and we know her through work. She will have surgery next week to remove cancer from her colon and liver. She feels like the prognosis is good, but she will have to endure chemotherapy and radiation. She says that they way they will do the treatment, she will not have to lose her hair and that seems to give her high hopes. Please add Terry to your prayer list!

It's Almost Here!

2008-03-25T18:59:00.002-05:00

Yea! The Talent Revue is almost here! The youth acts will start at 6:00 - YES - the time moved to 6:00! Bring a little bit of cash because we will sell refreshments (dessert, beverages) in between, with all proceeds going to the Heritage Youth Missions Fund. Then, at 7:30 sharp, we will start the adult acts. We plan to be done before 9:00. All ages are welcome!

We have a great show planned! Tell you friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. This is going to be a fun night! We want to fill the auditorium, so make plans to be there!!

You guys are intense...

2008-03-18T18:50:00.004-05:00

If you have not commented on my last post - don't hesitate! I would love to know your opinion! To take the edge off of the tension from that post, I am posting a video Thomas showed me on youtube.com.

Church

2008-03-09T20:29:00.003-05:00

**The following post is not meant to offend. It is meant to make us think.**

I go to a church that is what I call an 80/20 church. I started calling it that today, after an extensive conversation with Thomas regarding the project I am working on. Talking about the Talent Revue led to talking about Music Camp, which led to talking about volunteers in the children's ministry. I will be the FIRST person to tell you I love our church. I am willing to drive to Keller 3+ times per week because I feel like Thomas and I have been called to worship and serve there. It is 30-40 minutes to get there (which really isn't a big deal because it is just like our church in California), but when gas is through the roof, it hits the pocket book.

Anyway, let me explain my 80/20 philosophy about our church. 20% of the people who are members at our church are the "doers." They MAKE the time in their schedules to attend every event they can and they are always the people who are the "default volunteers" for everything that no one else wants to do. These people, who are in the 20%, are usually a lot more busy than I could ever be. I know one family, who I am very close to, that juggle their whole lives, but you know they are dedicated to our church. The parents both work full-time, they have three children, all involved in school and extra-curricular sports, but the whole family can be found at just about every event at the church. On top of that, the parents teach a vital class every Sunday and they will do almost anything they are asked. They have made it a BIG priority and show it. Their lives are much more complicated than I can write in a paragraph on a blog. I have a lot of close friends at church that are in this 20% category. (Just come to the Talent Revue and you will see them. I have conned them into doing a lot of extra things because even though we have a church of **900**, I can't find anyone else to help.)

Then, I have a lot of friends in the 80% category. These friends are wonderful to me. I love them, but I get secretly frustrated with them and sometimes, I am not good at making it a secret when I am with them. I am so glad they spend time at our church in worship. I am so glad they are there and I have been blessed to know them. The problem is, they are people of convenience when it comes to church. Their lives are so busy outside of church, that they get wrapped up in it and forget the mission. They are the people who rush in, some drop their kids off at class, they worship and then you don't see them again until the next week. Some of these people are the MOST talented people I have ever met. Their talents are in many areas - creativity, music, humor, organization, computer-oriented, cooking, etc. These talents are usually being wasted in so many cases. These are talents we can use so much at our church, but I think the 80% doesn't feel needed. They think, "If I don't volunteer, someone else will make sure it gets done." The problem is - I think the 20% gets worn out. If you are reading this blog and you started feeling like I might be talking about you when I discussed the 80%, don't feel alone. I have been in that 80%. Then, one day, I actually realized it and decided I could be a lot more fulfilled and have a much better experience if I changed it. So I did. The moment I started helping at church, I felt needed and I felt like God was leading me into these roles. Well, honestly, I didn't change it. God did, by way of our old Children's Minister (I think he had a little help from my sister). He asked me to direct the kids in the Children's Musical that year. Up until that point, I can't even say I was even really apart of the 80%. Believe me, I have had relapses, but I want my daughter (and future baby #2) to KNOW what my priorities are. I want them to see what I saw in my parents - dedication to the mission of bringing people to Christ.

So, after this LONG blog, I have a question for you. How many people in our church are not feeling needed? How many are the ones we should be ministering to? When we talk about ministering to the community, we cannot forget about our own church community. There are some who are hurting and that has caused them to be in the 80%. Some are feeling tired, some are needing someone, ANYONE, to come into their lives and let them know they are not alone. Some just need that extra push that says, "WE NEED YOU." I needed someone to help me with an aspect of the show today and told them, "I need you!" The problem is - they are in the 20%. They are worn out and when I said it, you could see it all over their face. I should have said it to someone in the 80% and I will.

So, here it goes. Some of you, reading my blog, are the ones we need. We need you to help in class, with church activities, I can certainly use all the help I can get at Music Camp, we need volunteers in the children's ministry, or any one of 100 different areas. Challenge yourself to be a "default volunteer." I guarantee you will be tired, but you will be more fulfilled than I can ever say. For those of you who have children, you will find that these are the things they will remember when they are adults. They will see you fulfilled and want the same thing for themselves and they will know exactly how to do it. You may not think they are watching, but they always are and now is the time to make sure they see Christ in you.

Comment - I want to know what you think.

Dedication

2008-03-06T12:56:00.002-06:00

I would like to dedicate this video to my brother, Tye.

(Got this from yahoo videos)

Severe Weather

2008-03-02T23:12:00.003-06:00

UPDATE: We survived. Haven't checked the roof yet for wind damage, but grateful our prayers were answered. Sorry I am such a Debbie Downer.

One of my biggest fears is severe weather. As I write this, we have tornadic weather/damaging winds/large hail/flash flooding headed our way. If I could convince Thomas to move out of this area, I would - in a heartbeat - just for this reason. I sit here and am so afraid. I know God will take care of us in my mind, but my heart fears for Thomas, Callie, our unborn baby and our two dogs. Thomas sleeps peacefully and there is no way I can think about going to sleep until all of it is over. I have already put some items in our safest room - our camera, which holds pictures of all of our stuff for the insurance company, some other pictures, a few bottles of water and I have my cell phone in hand. I can't even explain to you how afraid I am of this type of weather. I grew up in earthquake country and the time we lived in the Texas panhandle before that, we had a basement and I knew we were safe. Here - I don't know. I would take an earthquake ANY day over this.

On top of watching the radar like a hawk and text messaging my sister when it is coming her way, I think of how this is just the tip of the iceberg for severe weather season. I had to do a story when I was in college (I was a Broadcast Journalism major, but I did a lot of writing for the ACU newspaper) about the beginning of severe weather season and how to stay safe. For me, as a Californian, it was relatively eye-opening. I think it worsened my fears. When Thomas and I lived downtown (in Sanger Lofts), I always felt very safe. I mean, we had a parking garage underground that was multi-level! A tornado sideswiped that building and they had mostly broken glass and that was it.

So, if someone can refer me to a counselor who can help me overcome my fears, that would be great. Just kidding. Well, maybe I am not. If we move, we MUST try to find a house with a basement. Tim H., if you ever read this, we need a house with a basement or a safe room!

All that being said, IF something does happen to us tonight, my will is not notarized yet, but my brother has a copy. I promise we mean every word of it. Also, I want an above-ground, upright headstone. Since Callie will be fine (because I will be shielding her with every bone in my body), make her take piano and guitar lessons and play soccer. Thomas knows all of this, but I suspect that if something happens to me, it will happen to him because he will probably be shielding ME with every bone in HIS body. Or, he may still be asleep on the couch. He can sleep through anything.

I told you - I am really scared. I'm not kidding. Am I alone?

Callie's Newest Hobby

2008-03-01T23:12:00.001-06:00

IS there light at the end of the tunnel?

2008-02-07T22:13:00.000-06:00

No.

I guess there is. In 6 months, I will probably not even remember exactly how sick I have been/am and will be thanking my lucky stars for a new little boy or girl in my life. Until the day comes that I am not sick, right now, I will wallow in my misery and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY that God has some mercy on my stomach and the new baby and allows me to have a day without sickness.

So, if you will, help me out. I need all of the prayers we can muster for the health of the baby and my sanity. I know some of you have been through this to this degree and I appreciate your support during this trying and NEVERENDING part of my pregnancy.

P.S. Remind me to go back and read this entry, if Thomas and I consider having another child after this one!!

UGH.

2008-01-15T18:24:00.000-06:00

For those moms out there that suffered terrible morning sickness, worked full-time and were dealing with a toddler...give me some advice on how to deal with it! If my pregnancy with Callie was any indication of the morning sickness I am experiencing with this one, I expect to have it for another 2 weeks. HELP!

Drive-In

2007-12-17T15:56:00.001-06:00

Thomas and I took Callie to a drive-in movie on Saturday night in Ennis. It was so much fun!! We loved it! It was my first drive-in and everything I anticipated. All of the screens have double features and it was only $6 per person. The food was great and reasonably priced and the sound through the radio was spectacular. Most importantly, Callie could scream at the top of her lungs and no one cared. If you haven't been to a drive-in, I would highly recommend it!

Foot In My Mouth

2007-12-01T22:29:00.000-06:00

I am one of those people who have never been good with words. I can never find the right thing to say in hard circumstances and usually, I try to joke. I had two experiences of that nature this week.

First, a very close friend is having difficulties in her life. Things have been stressful with the kids and work and I think she was feeling a little off-kilter. After several weeks of noticing things weren't going well for her, I finally said something. It took me way too long to talk to her and I realize now that all she really needed was a friend. I am so much like a dude in those respects. I don't see things right in front of my face and I usually wait way too long to do something about it. Even as I was talking to her, I found it very difficult to find the right words to say and the right way to put into complete sentences what I was feeling in my heart. Fortunately, she knows me very well and has been around me enough to know this flaw in me. I hope she forgives my tardiness in being there for her.

Second, I think I was blindsided by PB's biopsy results. I know she is reading this, but I can't help but apologize for my initial reaction on the phone. I was so shocked that all I could do was make jokes. It is the worst defense mechanism, but it is me. My reaction was not only jokes, but it was telling her that if she needed comic relief to call me. I know people need that in times of adversity, but I wanted her to know how sad I was. She has to know that when I got off the phone with her, I sobbed. I didn't sob because I feel like things look bleak. On the contrary, I think things will be fine and, as she put it, she will get through it one step at a time and things will be fine. I sobbed because I hate that she has to go through this. I hate that she is feeling the emotional strain of dealing with breast cancer. I hate that we cannot take it on for her and share the burden she is feeling. I know God will take care of her, but part of me just can't figure out why this is happening and why now. It is not for me to ask why and I know I have to have faith and trust in God that He will heal her completely and quickly. I know I write about a lot of anger, but I am also thankful that it was caught now and that PB seems to be in pretty good spirits. Most importantly, I am thankful for her friendship and that she considers me one of the "girls."

At any rate, I am told that, if she has to have a more major surgery (hopefully, that won't be the case) KB has requested that she come out like Dolly Parton.

ARRRGGHHH!

2007-11-15T22:22:00.000-06:00

(I wrote this last Thursday....)

Do you ever have those days when nothing seems to go right?? Today was one of those days for me! Fortunately, it ended on a good note with a nice meal with my parents and a quick and successful trip to Walmart!

So, I just came back to work and finished up a few things and then I decided to look at the videos in my phone (random, I know). I found this cute one from Thanksgiving last year and thought I would post it. It is of Callie and Pawpaw dancing to some fine country music! It reminds me of how precious the time is with family. Callie is so little in this picture and it seems like it happened yesterday. No matter how terrible my day is, she can always put a smile on my face.

Despair

2007-11-01T17:30:00.000-05:00

I am a big fan of the online site/store http://www.despair.com/. Thomas and I bought a calendar for my Dad from them last year and it is hilarious. Well, they have a shirt that I am going to buy. It looks like this...

That being said, if you are out there reading this, somewhere in la-la land, don't hesitate to comment on my blog. I want to know I am not crazy.

You're it.

2007-10-26T17:13:00.000-05:00

Don't forget about my MK Deal of the Week!

I didn't realize I was tagged by Tammie, so I am sorry this is late.

1. Who is your man? Thomas
2. How long have you been married? 9 years on December 5
3. How long did you date? dated a year and engaged for 1 year
4. How old is your man? 31 on November 4
5. Who eats more? me
6. Who said "I love you" first? I can't remember, but I think Thomas.
7. Who is taller? Thomas
8. Who sings better? me, but Thomas is pretty good
9. Who is smarter? Toss up
10. Whose temper is worse? MINE
11. Who does the laundry? Technically, it is my job, but Thomas occassionally has to wash underwear and jeans on his own.
12. Who takes out the trash? Thomas
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? If you are looking at the bed, Thomas does.
14. Who pays the bills? I do.
15. Who is better on the computer? probably me, but Thomas and I are close on that one
16. Who mows the lawn? Thomas
17. Who cooks dinner? Thomas
18. Who drives when you are together? Ummm...me. And Thomas hates it.
19. Who pays when you go out? Thomas
20. Who is more stubborn? me
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? I don't think either of us ever admit it.
22. Whose families do you see most? Mine
23. Who kissed who first? Thomas kissed me.
24. Who asked who out first? Thomas asked me out.
25. Who proposed? Thomas
26. Who is more sensitive? I don't know. Probably me. Thomas doesn't show a lot of emotion.
27. Who has more friends? me
28. Who has more siblings? Technically, he does. He has three half-brothers, but they don't really see each other or talk that much.
29. Who wears the pants in the family? Me, but I prefer a kilt.
30. Who is the biggest pushover with the kids? So far, Thomas.

I tag Tonya, Pam and Laurie!

MK Deal of the Week is BACK!

2007-10-24T16:56:00.000-05:00

I know I still have plenty of pictures to post from my trip and from Bunco, but I have a much more pressing need....

Here is my Mary Kay Deal of the Week:

CELLU-SHAPE CONTOURING SYSTEM

This product is amazing. It is to reduce cellulite and it really works! Visit my website (link on the right of this page) to get more information. This is a great gift, but it is also an awesome personal product to use. I am offering a once-in-a-lifetime deal on this product (I have seven in stock, but will order more, if the need arises). This product retails for $55 and I am offering it for

ONLY $35.

Free Delivery

I estimate that one set will last for more than 6 months. Aren't you worth it?

Where are they now?

2007-10-09T10:42:00.000-05:00

Well, after several days of not blogging, this morning we woke up in Kinnewick, WA. We started making our trek home yesterday and drove a whopping 3-1/2 hours. This was mostly due to stopping at an outlet mall to see if they had Callie's Halloween costume at one of the stores. We lucked out! They did! Two hours later, we left. (With desperately needed new tennis shoes for me and a shirt from the clearance rack at Eddie Bauer for Thomas.)

Before I move on, I have to post one last beach picture of Thomas and Callie...

So, what have we been doing?

We left Rockaway Beach on Saturday morning and started making our way to Seattle. We decided to bypass Portland (as much as we hated to) because I found an incredible deal on Hotwire for an amazing hotel in Seattle.

As we made our way through the mountains to Portland, we saw some beautiful scenery and finally arrived at the place I have been looking forward to so much...

"Little People, Big World" is one of my favorite shows and I was so excited to go to their Pumpkin Patch! It was really neat and a true Pumpkin Patch where you could go to the field and pick your own pumpkin. Well, we were going to bring back a bunch of pumpkins, but we decided it might be better to find some souveniers. Another interesting point were the cameras filming while we were there...

After we did that, we worked our way up to Seattle. It rained the majority of Saturday and Sunday, but that was okay. We still had a great time! Once we arrived to Seattle, we went to our hotel - The Edgewater. Apparently, it is the only hotel in Seattle that is built on the waterfront. It was a beautiful hotel and was decorated wonderfully. We had a room with a view of the city and a balcony. This was our view (you can see the Space Needle in the mix of buildings)...

The night we arrived, we went to The Crab Pot, which is a restaurant where you order a specific meal for two and they come out and dump it on your table. We had crab, mussels, clams, corn, andouille sausage and potatoes. It was fantastic! Here is a picture of Thomas with the food before we started eating...sorry it is sideways, I am in a hurry and don't have time to reposition...
So, Sunday, we were going to go to Federal Way for church because when we lived in California, we went to camp with their youth group. I couldn't find the right church and then we got a later start than we wanted, so we ended up having our own study and communion in our hotel. The singing wasn't quite as good as at Heritage!

After we had church, we started walking around Seattle. We went to Pike's Place market and then headed over to two museums we were wanting to go through. One was a music museum that was very hands-on and fantastic!! The other was a Science Fiction museum that Thomas sais was "the best museum he has ever been to." We did the normal shopping and walked by their Tiffany and Co. and Barney's New York. We walked by and did not go in, for fear of buying something!

We then stayed for one more night at the Edgewater and then headed out of town. We attempted to see my good friend from highschool - Katie - but it didn't work out. It was disappointing, but I was glad to hear her voice and hopefully rekindle our friendship.

So, the last thing I will post is a picture of the beautiful leaves turning. The colors have been incredible and I wish you were all here to see it...

Obviously, my camera phone does not do it justice. We plan to be in Boise or somewhere just after that tonight. Should be at Grandma Freda's on Friday. See you soon!

Pay It Forward

2007-10-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

Tonight, we decided to stay in Rockaway Beach, which is a small town on the northern coast of Oregon. This was after we visited Tillamook, which is seemingly the cheese capital of Oregon. Tillamook is home to the Tillamook Cheese Factory and Blue Heron Cheese. We visited both. Callie was able to go to her very first petting zoo and feed all sorts of animals - cows, goats, sheep, etc. It was funny and she loved it. We have some great video them eating out of her hands! At the Tillamook Cheese Factory, the self-guided tour was interesting, but to be honest, cheese making really is not all that interesting in itself. What was interesting was the tasting area and the fact that they had MARS BARS. YES, I SAID MARS BARS. I was totally excited! That was perhaps my favorite candy bar before they took them off the market in the US and started selling them in the UK only. So, I bought two. One for Grandma Freda (because she is the one who introduced them to me) and one for me to snack on (since Thomas and I have decided to come back completely FAT).

So, after all this, we made our way to Rockaway Beach and checked into a nice cheap hotel. We have a partial ocean view with beach access and the room has a kitchenette and fireplace. Best of all is the price. Last nights room was cheap, but this one is cheaper! Yea!

After we all went and watched the sun set on the beach (and Callie stuck her toes in the ocean for the first time), we went to a restaurant called "Pirate's Cove" in Girabaldi (about four miles down the road). We waited for about 30 minutes to get a table because everyone at the hotel told us it was worth it. It was very busy at the restaurant and people seemed to be enjoying themselves. Once we were seated, we ordered some really strong iced tea and our meal, which consisted of Bay Oyster Shooters (mini raw oysters with cocktail sauce and lemon), salad and a huge plate of fresh crab that we shared. (Tonya - you would have LOVED this meal and we would have had a lot of fun cracking crab together. Some people break bread together, we crack crab.)

Anyway - after this fantastic meal, our waitress came over to our table and said, "Well, your meal has been paid for, so you guys have a great night!" I sat there with my mouth hanging wide open and Thomas (who, apparently really didn't hear her) said, "What did you say?" She just looked at us and told us that someone had paid for our meal and we should do the same for someone else. She said that it was a stranger and it wasn't the first time she had seen it happen in there. We don't know who it was or why they did it, but we know they did and it was shocking and touching at the same time. As we left, we decided we would do the same for someone on this trip. We would find some little family like ours and essentially "pay it forward" to them.

Of course, this will probably not be an expensive meal like ours and it may be in the Carl's Jr. drive through, but that's okay! Just kidding. I will let you know how it turns out (and I promise it won't be a fast food restaurant situation). More tomorrow! We miss you guys!

Wish You Were Here

2007-10-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

Well, I kind of mean that title. It is so nice to spend some time with Thomas and Callie, just the three of us. I do wish you all were here sometimes. I think you would love to see the things we are seeing and would enjoy my company tremendously. Hahaha.

I have a piece of bad news. I can't get another cable for my camera because it is a proprietary cable and I have to get it directly from Olympus (or an underground source). SO, I am posting only pictures from my camera phone until we get back.

To update you, I spent absolutely all day yesterday thinking it was Tuesday. To my dismay, it was not. I think I posted last on Monday, but I am not sure so I will start with Tuesday's events anyway.

Tuesday, we went to Vacaville to the outlets for a short time (kind of like going to San Marcos), bought Callie some of her very own Skechers (pictured below) and then we headed to Placerville to see my Aunt Theresa and Uncle Dick. They seemed to be doing well and we really enjoyed our visit with them and introducing them to Callie in person. She had a great time and they got a kick out of her. I have a funny video from a restaurant that I will post when we get back. Basically, Callie played the maracas while their in-house guitar player serenaded her. It was hilarious!

Wednesday, we started making the trek up the coast. For those of you that have not been up Hwy 101 in California, you travel through the Redwoods first and then you hit the beautiful coastal area. When you travel through the Redwoods, you see the Giant Sequoias. We took a lot of pictures with the digital camera, but here is an example of what we saw...

Yes, the previous picture was of us driving through a tree - in our Nitro! That is a real, living sequoia. Amazing.

Last night, we stayed in Eureka, CA, where we found a place call the Eagle House Inn. I stayed there about seven years ago with the singing group, but it was being remodeled at the time and they were still working on the downstairs ballroom and restaurant. At that time, we heard from some people in a restaurant that it was haunted and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. It has been in business for 100 years and is a Victorian style hotel. It is absolutely beautiful and all of the rooms are different and hold many different fantastic antiques. Below is a picture of Thomas and Callie in the sitting area of our room.

That was taken this morning before we left. So, after that point, we gorged ourselves on crepes and we started up the coast and saw some fantastic views. I failed to remember the gas pumping law in Oregon - which is basically that you can't pump your own gas. An attendant has to do it for you. Gas here is only $2.80 - $2.90, which shocked us! It was more than that in Amarillo. Usually, when we come out here, it is at least $.50 more expensive per gallon than in Fort Worth. That has been great because I budgeted for more gas than we are actually using.

This is a picture of Callie with Cowlie (her stuffed animal from BB&B). She has become more and more attached to Cowlie, especially during this trip.

Here are some other pictures from today (I took a lot with the video camera and digital camera as well). The first is the sunset on the Oregon Coast.

This is of an actual, working lighthouse. (That is why you see a dot of light.) We were on a huge cliff overlooking the water, lighthouse and beautiful view of the Pacific.

Finally, we decided to stop in Newport, OR. We didn't book any hotel arrangements, but we desperately wanted to find something affordable with an ocean view. At first, we tried the chains, but we weren't happy with the "partial" ocean views or the prices. We are all about bargains and found a hotel called the "Hallmark Resort." We found out an ocean view King room, non-smoking was $119, which was great (compared to everywhere else). So, imagine our amazement when we walked into the room. This is a picture (description below).

It may not look like much, but let me tell you that this is one of the nicest rooms I have ever stayed in for this price. In the lower left hand corner, you can only see a bit of it, but it is a jacuzzi tub! You can see that it has a nice bedroom area and beyond that, a sitting area with a gas fireplace, two comfy chairs, a table and a fold out couch. There is also a kitchenette with a dishwasher, refrigerator, etc. THEN, beyond that, is a private balcony that overlooks the beach and the ocean. IT IS FANTASTIC! This is the kind of place that you find only once in a blue moon. If you are ever in Newport, this is where you should stay.

So, we are having a great trip and we miss you all. Will post more tomorrow (as if this wasn't long enough)!

The longest Thursday EVER...

2007-10-01T23:55:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, we had the longest day ever. We woke up at the normal time...Thomas at 3:00 a.m. to get ready for work and Callie and I got up at about 7:00. Well, this is how it went:

7:00 - 9:00: Worked on the house and packed for our trip.

9:00 - 10:15: Got ready to go.

10:15 - 1:00: Doctors appt.

1:00 - 6:00: Work

6:00 - Thomas dropped off Callie at work for me and he went to a concert in Grand Prairie.

I went to Colleyville so my parents could see Callie.

8:45 - Got home

8:45 - 2:30 a.m. - Packed for our trip and finished laundry/housework

2:30 a.m. - LEFT FOR OUR TRIP

AND THEN....

Saturday at Noon, we arrived in Livermore, California! It took us a little less than 36 hours to make the drive. We went straight through, but we stopped a lot more than normal so that Callie could get out and stretch her legs every few hours.

We arrived at a close family friends house in Livermore (the city where we used to go to church) and then went to the Dave Matthews concert at an outdoor amphitheatre that is right off the bay. We were tired, but it was awesome!! I brought my camera, but I forgot my cord, so I have to get a new one tomorrow. So, to catch you up somewhat, here are a few pictures from my camera phone...

The above dessert is from Claim Jumper restaurant - perhaps one of my most favorite restaurants on the planet. This is a cookie sandwich (two giant heathbar choc chip cookies with ice cream in the middle) all topped with whipped cream, caramel and hot sauce. The dessert is almost wider than Thomas!

He ate about half of it. Next is Callie at Claim Jumper. They brought out a *complimentary* childs plate that had more food on it than I would eat in a sitting.

Below is a picture of Thomas and I at the concert...

We saw some old friends today and are headed to Jelly Belly, my Aunt and Uncles house and then up the coast tomorrow. More to come then!

Already??!?!?!?

2007-09-07T05:10:00.000-05:00

My baby is now not a baby. She turned one yesterday! Yikes! I will post pictures of her party later this weekend. She went on her very first sugar high - she went running all over the house for about two hours. She then crashed in my arms and has not woken up since!

Blog Awards

2007-08-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

My friend, Jennifer, was very sweet in awarding me a blog award...here are the details on the award...

"This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you've been awarded please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award."

So, here are my seven:

1. Tonya - http://treyandtonya.blogspot.com. Okay, so Tonya will be the first to tell you that she is not a great blogger. IN HER DEFENSE, she also does the Power Zone blog for HCC - http://hccpowerzone.blogspot.com. When she does blog, she makes it fun to read and she uses some creativity in deciding what to write. Is she the most frequent blogger? No. When she does blog, it is great! Plus, she is a great sister.

2. Sara - http://sorenandreese.blogspot.com. Sara and I have obviously known each other our entire lives. We were as close as cousins could be before we were about highschool age, then we drifted apart. I have been able to see Sara a little more over the last couple of years because we both live in Burleson now, but I still don't see her as much as I would like. So, the blogs have kept us in touch with what is going on. I love being able to stay in touch with her this way. Her blog entries are always fun and she is doing so awesome with her triathlon competitions! I could never do what she does.

3. Jenna - http://lifewith4boys.blogspot.com. What can you say about a mother of four boys?? Me being a relatively new mom, I find Jenna's blog very insightful and informative. I enjoy reading about her sweet family and the fun things they do. I also enjoy the insights and how she deals with issues, big and small.

4. Joan - http://travelwithjoan.blogspot.com. Joan and I are (second? third?) cousins, but we never really spent any time together. Through the blogs, I have been able to read all about Ghana and Joan's adventures. I never really knew Joan well, so this has been a great way to learn more about family! She is much more adventurous than me!

5. Laurie - http://lauriesthreesons.blogspot.com. I have been so blessed to get to know Laurie through Bunco. I always have felt some sort of kindred spirit with her because her third child and Callie were born two days apart. So, we were able to be pregnant at the same time and I looked forward to talking with her every month at Bunco about our ailments! She and Jay are raising three sweet little boys and I am so glad to be able to read more about their life through her blog!

6. Megann - http://megannupdates.blogspot.com. I miss Megann. I go to her update blog and read old postings frequently. I miss her, but it makes me feel a little better knowing someone is up there on my side. She was such an inspiration to so many and I was so blessed to know her.

7. Zane Williams - http://www.zanesadventure.com/diaries.html. Zane is a friend from college who has been working for the last 6 years to make it in Nashville. Personally, I think Zane has already made it. Just the fact that he is doing what I always dreamed of, but never did, is a testament to his determination and perseverance. He is a staff songwriter for Big Dog Records and if you haven't heard "Hurry Home", wander over to his site and listen to it. It will make you cry. Zane has used his blog to keep in touch with his fans and all of his old friends. The one thing I will say about Zane is that he is grounded and really wants to go where God wants him. His blog entries are exactly who he is. They are real and honest. And yes, this is also a plug for Zane. He is on iTunes...buy his music!!

That's my girl!!

2007-08-27T16:54:00.000-05:00

For once, Callie is like me. She LOVES Dave Matthews...

She would much rather watch a concert on TV or listen to regular music than any of the toddler stuff out there. It's amazing! I hope she loves music as much as I do when she is older!

You are what you eat...

2007-08-23T18:14:00.000-05:00

Thomas and I love to grow various fruits and vegetables in our backyard. So far, we have watermelons, strawberries, blackberries, oranges, grapefruits, lemons, apples, peppers, basil, mint, onions and we had pumpkins, but we lost those to a tragic underwatering accident. So anyway, here is a lovely shot of my watermelon...

It is about the size of a tennis ball, but I am pretty sure we will end up sending this little guy to watermelon heaven because of the heat. We'll see!

MK Deal of the Week

2007-08-16T17:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, several of you have heard me complain in the last few months about the excessive amount of Mary Kay inventory on my shelf. SOOOOO, I am going to start a "Deal of the Week" program. Below, you will find a spreadsheet of this week's deal - LIP PRODUCTS!! Yea! Anywho, if you would like to purchase at these low, low 50-60% off prices, let me know. The deals are good as long as I have stock and I will deliver them to you. If you are a consultant, I will give you an additional 5% off. The deals won't last long, as I am going to start selling off my excess inventory to http://www.pinkdiscount.com/ or http://www.touchofpinkcosmetics.com/. I mention the sites because you can view most everything I have and see if the color is what you like. All of the product is unused and has been taken care of, I just need to get it off my shelf!! Take a look and send me an email or drop me a comment with what you want.

Updates

2007-08-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I still need to post pictures of my 30th Birthday Parties, Callie walking all over the place (Yikes!) and some really, really awesome pictures of Callie and Thomas. They are so cute. It's like looking at Thomas and his female Mini-Me. I also have some video and pictures of my gig with Rick at the restaurant. Thanks to those of you who came out to support us!

Last week, we all were sick with the terrible stomach bug that I know several of you had. We were experiencing true parenthood when all three of us were miserable. I have to say that Callie took it like the good sport she is. She would laugh and play, throw up, have a very yucky diaper and then laugh and play again. I, on the other hand, was not such a good sport. I will leave it at that...

So, I hope that later this week, I can get around to downloading the pictures/video. At any rate, I will leave you with this picture. It is one of my favorites of Callie and Grammy Judy. We were at Texas de Brazil for James' birthday. Of course, it was taken in May, but it is never too late to post the cute ones, is it??

Come to our sale!

2007-07-31T18:20:00.000-05:00

Well, we are having our garage sale, compliments of the Ford family. They are moving at the end of the month and had a need to get rid of some items as well, so we are having it this Friday morning and Saturday morning at their house. Come on by! Thomas and I are looking to sell a lot of items, including a very nice coffee table and a set of dining room table and chairs. Rick and Melissa are selling two awesome wooden cabinets (a computer cabinet and a storage cabinet he was using for guitars/amps/etc.) that Rick made. They are high quality items.

ALSO, I am selling TONS of discontinued Mary Kay items. If you are a customer or consultant and want to get that shade or product you think no one has anymore, let me know. I will go through my inventory and reserve items, as requested. I have a lot of inventory and I need to get rid of as much of it as I can, so please buy it up!

Come to our garage sale!

Garage Sale

2007-07-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

I need to have a garage sale. Anyone have any pointers? This will be our very first garage sale in the 9 years (almost) we have been married. Leave me a comment with your tips!

Callie's Firsts

2007-07-05T17:28:00.002-05:00

We have experienced several "first" moments with Callie recently...

Callie's first swim...

Callie's first FC Dallas soccer game...

First time to wish her Daddy a Happy Father's Day...

First time to celebrate the 4th of July (she is waving the flag)...

She is growing so quickly! I am trying to get a good video of her "dancing." Perhaps that will be my next post. All of the above were taken on my camera phone, so I hope you can make them out okay. At any rate, she is hilarious and keeps us laughing all the time!

Memories

2007-06-21T16:07:00.000-05:00

First off, don't be offended that I had to turn on comment moderation for a short time. Please don't let that stop you from making comments on my blog!

Today, my Mom was in our Conference Room shredding old documents. She had everything from old tax records to cancelled checks and old bills. As I looked through some of the items, I found a couple of really interesting things.

1. A letter sent out by Dad's old boss stating that he had been promoted to Executive Vice President of Spreckels Sugar. This letter was from 1985 and was right after we moved to California from Dimmitt, TX. The company was huge and it was such a big achievement for Dad to be promoted. He has always been a great businessman.

2. A stack of cancelled contribution checks from our church in Livermore, CA. What was sad was the address on the checks. For those of you who don't know, I am and will remain very "homesick" for California. I miss it terribly and when I see things that remind me of my time there, I get sad. I wish I had taken advantage of the time there more.

3. An invoice from Spirit Wind Studios, where I had my first recording session. I recorded a lot when I was in highschool and my early college years. I did a lot of originals and some cover tunes. It was so much fun and at that time, I felt like I could really go somewhere with it. I still think I could do something with my music, but my dreams have become a little less grand over time.

After all of this, I got an email from a friend from highschool today asking for a copy of a song we did in my senior year highschool Talent Show. It was completely random to hear from him, but nice to know someone else doesn't have moments of living in the past!!

JOIN ME!!

2007-06-13T15:22:00.001-05:00

With the help from a few friends, I am starting a new Motivational Weight Loss Club. Now, I know the majority of people that read my blog have no desire to lose weight, but for those of you who do, this is a great way to get motivated! Here is the information:

*Weigh-in every Wednesday night immediately following church at Heritage
*Each person contributes $5
*You can follow any diet you want - grapefruit, Atkins, Weight Watchers, baby food, working out, etc.
*Each week, we show up and confidentially weigh in. Each person is given their percentage of weight loss. This is calculated by a computer and is given to each person. Your weight will be kept in strict confidence with you and the person weighing you.

This is the exciting part....

The person who loses the highest percentage

for that week takes home all the money!!

Rules:
1. If you hit your "goal" weight (set by you at the first weigh-in), you don't have to contribute to the pot as long as you stay +/- 2 pounds of that weight.

2. If you skip a week, your total weight loss will be divided among the total number of weeks and you get credit for the average. Example: I weigh in on 6/13 at 110 pounds (quit laughing). I can't be there on 6/20, but I show up on 6/27 weighing 105. Total pounds lost - 5. Total weeks since the last weigh in - 2. I get credit for losing 2.5 pounds and that is how my percentage is calculated.

3. You have to feel comfortable weighing in front of only ONE other person. No one else will know your weight unless you tell them. Results are kept in a LOCKED and password protected file on a laptop. (So we can easily and quickly do the calcuations.)

4. We all weigh at the same time on the same scale every week.

Just imagine - we already have four people participating. This means that our winnings are already at $20! If we get 10 people involved, that means you could go home with $50!!

Anyone can afford $5 and everyone can use an extra few bucks in their pocket if they win! Drop me an email or comment if you want to participate! Tell your friends. This is definitely a "the more the merrier" situation!!

I wanted to start tonight, but it may have to wait until next week. A big bonus to all of this is the great summer series we have going on at Heritage this year. Come find me tonight and I will let you know if we are starting tonight or next week.

Music Camp Update

2007-06-05T17:30:00.000-05:00

Here is the link to our fabulous Music Camp blog:

http://hccmusiccamp.blogspot.com

A big thanks goes out to Charis for setting it up!

Join us on Saturday at 6:00 or Sunday at 5:00 for the most fantastic Children's Musical of the season!

Here we go!

2007-05-31T18:22:00.000-05:00

I made a decision over the weekend.

I have, like many others I know, battled my weight for many years. I was a cheerleader for 9 years and spent most of it feeling like I was the heaviest girl on the squad. It didn't matter that I weighed about the same as the other girls or that I looked the same as them in our group pictures. I had always seen myself as being overweight and so, I thought I was. Then, I went to ACU and became even more depressed. I hated the heat and never went outside, thus my gain of more than 50 pounds from the beginning of my freshman year through my junior year. Then, I went to Weight Watchers for the first time. I went with my dear roommate and we did pretty good up until my wedding. I think I lost around 20 pounds and I felt better. Then, I became the Director of Singing Groups for ACU and spent the next two years on the road, eating out at every meal. Because we were relatively active, I only gained back about 10 of the 20 pounds I had lost. THEN, I moved to Fort Worth. I think that was my downfall. I became the ultimate couch potato. Thomas was working nights and I was working 12-15 hour days and when I was home, I was a permanent fixture on my love seat. Before I had Callie, I went back to Weight Watchers (2x) and lost a few. Then, I gained them back because I just didn't change myself. Since I moved and had Callie, I have gained 32+ pounds. Most of that happened before I had Callie, so I can't blame pregnancy. I have no excuse.

All that being said, I spent some considerable time in prayer and conversation with myself this weekend. I will be 30 on July 28.
I WILL NOT spend my 30's as I did most of my 20's.
I WILL NOT be exhausted when I walk up more than 10 stairs.
I WILL NOT over-eat every time I sit down at the table.
I WILL NOT take my health for granted.
I WILL NOT have my daughter grow up thinking her Mom is not healthy.
I WILL NOT impose healthy eating habits on my family and not do it myself.

I WILL be an example to Callie.
I WILL have more energy.
I WILL feel better about myself.
I WILL show my family and Thomas that I care about being here for another 60 years and I am not too lazy to take care of myself.
I WILL fit into a size 8.
I WILL pose for a picture without asking the photographer to either take it from a down-shooting angle or "hold on a second while I suck in."

I WILL SUCCEED.

My goal - 50 pounds by September 30, 2007.

Callie and Graycen

2007-05-29T06:34:00.000-05:00

Over the last few months, Thomas and I have been watching a little boy named Graycen every Thursday. Graycen is exactly one month younger than Callie and they are hilarious when they are together. To show you how big they are getting, here is a picture from February...

Wait...something fishy is going on...are they holding hands???? Callie can't already be boy crazy!!

Here is a picture from last Thursday (May 24)...

They are getting so big! In the first picture, neither of them were able to sit up on their own, much less crawl around the house (or roll around the house, in Callie's case). It is amazing what babies can accomplish in such a short amount of time. By the way - is it just me, or my baby a bit of a ham on camera?

Misty - thanks for letting me post pictures of Graycen!

Help!

2007-05-16T15:54:00.000-05:00

I am in a bind. I LOVE to watch The Price is Right. I watch it everyday. Tonight, there is a $1,000,000 primetime special at 7:00 CST. I will be at church and am hoping (praying) that there is someone out there with a DVR (that can burn DVD's) that will record the special for me! I will bring you a DVD and will even give you a really big hug, if you would do this for me. Any takers???

Music Camp

2007-05-11T23:08:00.000-05:00

I just finished assigning singing roles for Music Camp. Phew! I'm glad that part is over! We had so many great kids audition this year. It was really hard to decide which would be best in which singing roles.

Fortunately, I had a group of people helping on choosing the cast. Big thanks to Diane, Mistee, Melissa and Thomas! If you read this blog and you know of a child who is anxiously awaiting the news of which part they are playing, have them stop by the Music Camp table at Heritage on Sunday. Every child who auditioned will have an envelope with their name on it. If you just can't wait until Sunday, call me, comment on my blog or send me an email!!

Make plans to come to our musical this year! The performances are in three weeks (I think). We are doing Nic at Night and it is going to be fantastic!

I was the lucky one...

2007-05-09T21:35:00.000-05:00

Today was such an emotional day. Megann went to be with our Father. There is not much more to say than how much I will miss her and how lucky I was to call her a friend. She had so many friends and affected so many lives. I have so many "I wish..." things running through my head.

I wish I had done more with her, taken her picture more, prayed with her more than just at Bunco, encouraged her more, told her "thank you" more....

The comfort I have is that I will get to see her again someday.

For the 10 minutes I actually slept last night, I dreamed this:
I was walking up to the gates of heaven and here come my relatives, who have gone on before me, ready to greet me and welcome me in. My grandfathers and grandmother are there. Jesus is there with open arms. He hugs me tight and beckons me toward the gate. I started walking toward it and then, I heard the sound I wish I could hear right now. THAT LAUGH. That distinctive Megann laugh. Somewhere behind the gate, she is there laughing, talking, and having fun and as I approach, she turns and smiles.

Scary Baby

2007-05-02T16:50:00.000-05:00

Callie likes to play in her pack and play every afternoon while Thomas is watching her. I was sitting at my desk the other day when I received this pix message on my phone...

Apparently, she enjoys licking the side of the pack and play.

Things Callie Loves To Do

2007-04-29T19:33:00.000-05:00

1. Play Nintendo with Dad and then fall asleep...

2. Pick the flowers...

3. Take a nap with Daddy...

4. Swing in her swing (but she is about to grow out of it)....

5. Play with Reesie (and Bear)...

AND - MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...

6. Make farting noises...

People in My Life

2007-04-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Here are three
people I find
amazingly funny!

Administrative Assistant Needed

2007-04-26T11:38:00.000-05:00

I need to hire a new Receptionist/Administrative Assistant. If you know anyone who is a multi-tasker and has a good attitude, send them my way! It is an 8-5 job and we are located off 7th Street, just outside of downtown Ft Worth. For more information, there is a job posting on Work in Texas (posting # 4692613). I want to hire someone within the next week or so. Leave me a comment if you need my contact information. Thanks!

Adrenaline

2007-04-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

The Stars just lost game 7 and I am sitting in front of my computer wondering, "Will ANY Dallas team go ANYWHERE this year?" Oh well. I can still cheer for the Mavs. They aren't giving me much hope right now either. The Rangers stink. I guess I will have to start going to FC Dallas games with Thomas. I don't know a lot about soccer, but I can learn!

So, I had kind-of a bad day today. I had to let someone go at work and that is never an easy thing. I wasn't particularly surprised by this event and it was about the 15th termination I have had to do since starting at GST six years ago. Anyway, it is not fun sitting there telling someone they are not "working out." Then, my Jeep broke down. Do you believe in karma? I don't.

Dealing with work is one thing, but I am consumed with thoughts of friends who are struggling. I am the type of person that never knows what to say. I have never been an eloquent person. I have never been able to put my thoughts or feelings into a sentence when I am standing in front of the person in question, looking them in the eye. I can write a song about it, but that doesn't count. So, I am going to use my blog for some of those things I wish I had said. Don't be surprised if your name shows up one day on my blog! So, I will start with family...

Tonya, I don't really think you hold things over my head. I just say that in the heat of arguements with you. I actually couldn't ask for a better sister. You are an example of a wonderful Mom and that means a lot to me as I work my way through motherhood. That said, I am sorry I broke your mirror in your Camaro when you were in highschool.

Tonya's Creativity

2007-04-22T00:08:00.000-05:00

On a side note, we are required to wear safety glasses in the sheet metal shop we work at. Right after I came back from maternity leave (Callie was about 7-8 weeks old), my hilarious sister thought it would be wise for Callie to follow the rules. She took it upon herself to do this:

Honestly, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!

2007-04-21T23:44:00.000-05:00

I can't contain my excitement! The Stars pushed it to game 7!! We did get to go to the game and here is a shot from my camera phone...

The guys looked great tonight. They skated well, were aggressive, Turco was awesome and the heavy hitters finally made an appearance. Mo scored the first goal during a 5 on 3 (this was not from my camera phone)...

I am kind of worried because Morrow was leaving the game due to injury right at the end. He ended up getting into a fight while he was getting off the ice. I hope his injury is not serious and that he is well enough to play in game 7. Anyway, it was an amazing game and my throat hurts from screaming so much. I am so glad we were able to go!

So, Callie got to spend some quality time with the Ford's. Thank you guys so much for watching her for us! I am sure she had a great time! We owe you dinner.

STARS WIN!!

2007-04-20T00:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is late. Yes, I am too excited to sleep. Yes, I am completely excited that Charis stayed up and saw the amazing overtime victory tonight! Perhaps I will get to see a playoff game after all!

Brenden Morrow is my new hero. Looks like a dork here, but wouldn't you if you had just kept playoff dreams alive??

News of the Week

2007-04-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

So many things have happened in the last few days, I just don't know where to begin.

First, on Friday, we had some severe thunderstorms, but were still able to go to Dallas with Rick and Melissa to see Darrell Scott play. He is an amazing songwriter and performer. He wrote a lot of popular songs for the music industry, but does a lot of little intimate concerts. It was great! While we were out, our friend, Misty, watched Callie. When we arrived home, Misty was very distraught. She had just found out that the long-time boyfriend of one of her best friends had been killed in a car accident. He was an Irving Police Officer and lost control of his car while he was responding to a call to help another officer. The weather appears to be to blame. He was in his twenties and his girlfriend is 26. They had been dating since highschool. Well, tonight I sat down to watch the news and they showed his funeral and part of her eulogy. It was incredibly touching and heartbreaking. My heart goes out to her and the friends and family around her.

After those events on Friday, my Dad's birthday was Saturday. We went to Babe's Chicken Dinner House and then had cake and ice cream at my house. Other than celebrating his birthday, the best part of the day was that my house was clean! We had a good time together.

Sunday, we had small group. It was fun. We are part of a fun group of people that doesn't seem to take life TOO seriously.

Monday, I went to work and then had....you guessed it....BUNCO! For those of you who were there, I am only going to say this: From what I hear, Jon found the tassels.

Callie sprouted her fourth tooth on Monday. She has three on the bottom and one up top. The second one up top is almost in...you can see it. It makes me sad that she is getting so big! I can't believe it!

On a serious note for Monday, the terrible shooting happened at Virginia Tech. I just cannot believe what some people are capable of in this world. I was reading an article about a professor who was a Holocaust survivor. He basically sacrificed himself to save his students. What an amazing thing to do! So many of the victims are remembered as heroes. I wish that none of them became victims of the disturbed young man who decided it was his right to take their lives. My heart goes out to those families and those surrounding them. I don't know what I would do in that situation.

Tuesday, we went to Matt and Karen's house for dinner. They had us over as a thank you for LTC and to get to know us. I really enjoyed having an actual conversation with them! It has been almost a year since they came to Heritage and I have hardly talked to them at all about anything other than Music Camp, LTC, etc. It was nice. I wish we would do that with more people at church. We just live so far away!

For my sports commentary, the Stars lost last night and I am seeing my chances of going to a playoff game slip slowly into the night. Also, I believe Joey Crawford was well within his rights to throw Duncan out of the Mavs/Spurs game. Stern told the officials to take no prisoners at the beginning of the season and now he is a big hypocrite.

Today is Wednesday. Things have been busy, yet pretty good. I am reminded of the wonderful things I have and how lucky I am to be surrounded by friends and family.

One more quick note - I found out that my friend, Zane Williams, has submitted an original song to American Idol for consideration in their contest. He is an amazing songwriter and I had the pleasure of singing with him in the singing groups at ACU for several years. When the voting begins, VOTE FOR ZANE!!

Callie

2007-04-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

So, even though some of you may disagree, I think I have the most beautiful little girl in the world. This picture is of her and I in December, when she was three months old. She is now seven months. I can't believe it! She really is a wonderful baby. My next one will be more like me, I fear. Callie is just like her Daddy. She is calm, loving, cute, etc. We'll just say, I am not calm. I am cute. There's no denying it. Haha.

All of that being said, I have wondered to myself often, "What did I do to deserve this great of a gift from God?" Then, I realize it is just that. She is a gift, but she is never really, truly mine alone. She is His. He has just loaned her to me to enjoy and to remind me what a true wonder He is. Sometimes, I wake up and just go in and watch her sleep. I wonder what she dreams and why she gets that beautiful little grin on her face so often while she is dreaming. I can only assume she is dreaming of her Mama. Seriously, I hope that she grows up with the best of Thomas and the best of me. I hope she sees/takes on his way of being rational and accepting of some things out of his control. I hope she sees only the best parts of me and doesn't take on the worst. More importantly, I hope we can help her understand how incredibly blessed our family has been and who it all comes from.

So, this will be the sappiest blog I write, but I had to get it out.

Finally giving in...

2007-04-06T22:54:00.000-05:00

For the last year or so, I have been blogging on myspace - www.myspace.com/tamifreeman. I really like myspace. I have renewed a lot of friendships that way, so I don't anticipate closing my myspace account anytime soon. That being said, I am sitting at Bunco a few weeks ago and everyone disses me for not having a fantastic blogspot account. So, for their viewing pleasure, I am going to give it a shot.